Estate Planning for Unmarried Couples: Protect Each Other, Protect Your Home
In California, default rules are written with marriage in mind. If you’re committed but not married, the law won’t automatically give your partner the right to inherit, make medical decisions, or even talk to your doctors in a crisis. That gap is easy to close with a practical estate plan tailored to unmarried couples—especially important if you own (or plan to buy) a Bay Area home together.
Why Planning Matters More When You’re Not Married
No automatic inheritance. Without documents, a surviving partner may receive nothing. California’s intestacy laws prioritize blood relatives.
Medical and financial roadblocks. Hospitals and banks look for legal authority. If your partner isn’t named, they may be sidelined when you need them most.
Real estate complexity. Title choice (joint tenancy, tenancy in common, LLC, or trust) controls what happens to the home and whether your family faces probate.
Quick note: California registered domestic partners have many of the same rights as spouses under state law, but federal and out-of-state treatment can differ. If you’re not registered, assume you have no default protections.
The Essential Documents
Revocable Living Trust (with pour-over will).
A revocable trust is a private set of instructions that says who’s in charge and who benefits if you’re incapacitated or pass away. When you title assets to the trust, your successor trustee can manage them without probate—a big win in California. The pour-over will catches anything left outside the trust and directs it back in. The catch for unmarried couples: you each need your own trust.Cohabitation or Property Agreement.
Put in writing how you’ll share expenses, who owns what, and how buyouts work if one partner wants (or needs) to leave. For homes, spell out down payment credits, repairs, ADUs, and refinance responsibilities. This document prevents “he said, she said” later.Advance Health Care Directive + HIPAA Release.
Name your partner to make medical decisions if you can’t, and authorize access to records. Without this, even long-term partners can be left in the waiting room.Durable Power of Attorney (finances).
Lets your partner pay bills, handle taxes, and manage accounts if you’re incapacitated. It can be effective immediately or spring into effect upon incapacity.Beneficiary Designations & Pay-on-Death (POD/ TOD) Instructions.
Retirement accounts and life insurance pass by form, not by your will or trust. Align these with your plan so benefits don’t bypass your partner or trust.
How to Hold Title to a Bay Area Home
Joint Tenancy (with right of survivorship): If one partner dies, the survivor takes title automatically. Simple, but it can complicate tax and creditor planning and doesn’t avoid probate at the survivor’s later death.
Tenancy in Common (TIC): Each partner owns a defined percentage; no automatic survivorship. Your share can pass by trust or will. Pair TIC with a co-ownership agreement to set buyout and expense rules.
Trust Ownership: Titling the property in one or two coordinated revocable trusts helps avoid probate, clarify shares, and control what happens after the first and second deaths.
LLC (for rentals/ADUs): For income properties, an LLC can centralize liability and bookkeeping; your trusts own the LLC.
A quick title check with a lawyer before you record a deed can save you from expensive fixes later.
Other Issues Unmarried Couples Shouldn’t Miss
Kids & guardianship. If you have (or plan to have) children, your wills should name guardians and your trust should manage funds for minors.
Digital life. Add legacy contacts (Apple/Google), store passwords in a manager with emergency access, and include crypto/NFT instructions if relevant.
Separate vs. joint assets. Keep a simple inventory. If parents are helping with a down payment or ADU, document whether it’s a gift or loan.
Pet plan. Name a caregiver and provide funds in the trust for veterinary costs.
A Simple, Practical Roadmap
Meet together to clarify goals (what happens to the home, who’s in charge, any special gifts).
Draft and sign: trusts, pour-over wills, cohabitation/property agreement, directives/POAs.
Fund the trusts: retitle the home and non-retirement accounts; update beneficiaries.
Create a one-page “first week” roadmap for the partner acting as trustee or agent.
Revisit after major life changes (move, refinance, new baby, liquidity event).
Bottom line: Marriage isn’t the only path to strong legal protection. With a well-funded trust, clear agreements, and up-to-date directives, unmarried couples can protect each other, their home, and their plans—without court delays or family drama.